Expectations
by theleague-ofshadows
Summary: "The worst part is I cannot ever kiss you, Bane." She swore that the silence being cut was the worst sound she had ever experienced. "No matter how many times I have wished, I simply cannot properly prove my affections like a normal lady and the reality of it is depressing beyond belief." Bane/Talia


A/N: Another one shot, I don't like it. But I spent hours writing it and I'm tired and I just want to publish more stuff, so yeah.

I'm still writing the sixth chapter for The Cold and Heartless, so I feel like maybe that's why my devotion wasn't fully in this fic.

Any way, thank you to my devoted readers who commented on my last fic Debt. You guys are amazing! Enjoy this one, or don't. I don't care.

* * *

**Expectations**

Written by theleague-ofshadows

* * *

"I cannot ever kiss you, Bane." She swore that the silence being cut was the worst sound she had ever experienced. "No matter how many times I have wished, I simply cannot properly prove my affections like a _normal_ lady and the reality of it is depressing beyond belief."

She took everything she felt inside of her, placed it forcefully into one last look before she turned around and left him alone in the darkness of the room.

Marching gracefully down the hall, she closed her eyes for seconds at a time, hoping that her breathing would remain stable.

She wouldn't dare cry. She was beyond that. She had come to face the fact that the only man she ever loved could never delicately place his lips upon hers and the fact used to make her blood boil. Now, it was nothing more than a sentiment that had been repeated in her mind until the thought was no longer as heartbreaking as it seemed. In fact,

She exhaled quietly; she was going to have to move on.

The soft footsteps haunted the halls like a symphony of phantom-like tapping. She noticed her heartbeat matched the sound. She looked back down the hallway. She never expected anything. She knew what things she was likely to receive and a longing glance from him standing there, hoping she would return wasn't one of them.

She looked back towards the empty hall and smiled sadly.

The reality wasn't painful anymore, because she knew what to expect.

* * *

She expected early in the morning, just like every other, that she would arrive to train with Bane in the shadowed room like they always did. Nothing could have been more planned. She arrived at six exactly every morning and every morning he was there.

Every morning except this one.

It was foolish, she admitted to herself many times since the action was completed, to admit her devoted emotions to her beloved friend. Yet, she couldn't find herself being angry with herself that she told him so.

She was sad, she had to admit. His absence continued as the day went on and soon, it was days on end that she didn't see him. She knew why he wasn't near. She knew exactly why.

It had been years since her father excommunicated Bane from the League. The same amount of time having gone by since she left as well. They built an empire of their own. All they needed was each other.

An empire of gold. They made a family. Those devoted to their cause became brothers, sisters. They became a core. She took many things from her father's style. She created an army, almost identical to the League.

Talia was only eighteen when she left with Bane. The age difference never mattered before. She was still a child when he became a young man. She only ever needed a friend.

She had flings with other men. The occasional flirtation was a nice add-in to her everyday life and gave her confidence to grow. Romance between them was never fully an option.

And how could it be? A mindset of war was the only thing ever known.

Time passes and the brutality of recognizing the effects it has is violent.

She knew the symbol of her salvation could never return her feelings of desire. The ones that grew in the daylight and became savory in the darkness. The time they spent together couldn't be erased or rewritten. She had encountered him at such a young age that she was sure that was the only thing he would ever be able to see her as. An infant. Innocent and young. Her casual embrace to such a character was natural. Wasn't that who she was? Wasn't that who she wanted to be?

Not daring to shed a tear in the entirety of his absence, Talia had to figure her life back together. She was going to be alright in the end. That's how things worked out. The sun would rise once more.

She kept her head high most of the time, a simple smile for everyone around. She saw Bane on a Tuesday. The rain was falling and so was  
she. Or so it felt. She felt nothing different as she stared into him as he caught her eyes. She, inside the black coals of lost causes, turned her eyes away and went out into the storm, no longer fearful of the rain or the cold.

* * *

She expected the sun to come around that day. Would the meteorologist dare assume? Of course not. The holidays approached and if this wasn't a facility built for assassins without personal lives, she would allow them a few weeks' vacation time.

She was told to expect snow, and lots of it. Waking up that morning to a white wonderland outside of her window warmed her soul a bit. She was reminded of the child inside of her once more as she looked at the bed of white and thought of when she used to resonate at her father's empire and the amount of snow that was there.

And there, sitting beside a cloud, was the sun.

* * *

She was told to expect great danger in the task. However, she didn't fully grasp the brutality of the conquest until a bullet sliced its way through her shoulder blade.

Groaning, she felt the doctor using his tweezers trying to pull out the bullet. The morphine hadn't kicked in just yet, so the pain was excruciating. She had no other option but to clench her jaw and try her hardest not to bite her cheek.

The doctor gave her a prognosis as he patched her up and allowed her clearance to leave the building.

* * *

"I heard you got hurt."

She shook her head, "I'm fine." She muttered. Standing in the middle of her room, she stared at Bane with peaceful eyes. The sun was setting and she was getting tired. Perhaps a nice sleep to soothe her. She had just spent a little over an hour having metal tweezers shoved in her shoulder, the sleep had been earned.

He came further into the room. She had expected anyone but him.

"Talia…" She had her back to him so she wouldn't allow herself a glance at his face. His mask haunting her like a nightmare that she couldn't wake from. She didn't want another reminder of that day. They had finally gotten over it, hadn't they? Since the day she walked away and into the rain, she made a peace treaty with her heart that she would never allow herself to feel anything like that. And wouldn't that be the wisest decision? They could go back to normal.

Since then, she was able to knit back together her relationship and wasn't that the key? She felt mediocre once she completed the transition. Nothing could take away that feeling ever again.

"The doctor has prescribed me pain killers and I think I will be able to manage through the night. Did you need my stop watch for tomorrow's meet since I won't be there?" She asked. Due to her condition she was in no position to train with anyone, for that matter. She had settled back into her routine with Bane after two weeks of absence. Who could deny the distance anyway?

It was too painful.

The strange thing was, Talia would do most of the talking. That was normally the case, yet she felt as if he held back from saying things that could ruin the peaceful atmosphere. Maybe that was why he was so quiet.

The callouses on her hands were rough against her cheek as she waited for him to answer her.

Sometimes, expectations were disappointing.

* * *

_"Sometimes I fear it." Her throat growing dry. "I fear I am always going to remain the same in your eyes."_

_He frowned as he turned to face her. "I am afraid I don't understand. What do you mean?"_

_She looked down at her fingertips. She had played with the thought in her head for years, yet she remained too afraid to admit that the feelings she held close to her heart were anything romantic. Romance? In such a mental state? How foolish._

_But she knew. Things were going further. Deeper. She couldn't escape. He became more to her then she ever imagined and the thought scared her. She was only a young woman. What did she know of love?_

_She doubted the existence of such a thing._

_The concept ran through her like a soft drum beat. She could repeat her doubts, but the repetition remained. She always found herself thinking more and more about it._

_But the heartbreaking aspect was that now she no longer held onto the feeling of comfort. How could she? The sun she had clung to was now a ball of thin air. Disappearing with each breath she took._

_She only ever wanted him to love her. And he did, did he not? Did it matter that he didn't feel it in the same way? Could he ever feel it for her?_

_"How old am I?" She asked. He frowned and stared into her blue eyes with intensity. She felt his gaze, soft and gentle, but it wasn't enough. He was holding her so close that it seemed she would never be able to show him her radiance. She was still only a child. _

_He didn't answer, which meant that he probably didn't know. Or perhaps he couldn't understand the importance of her silly question. _

_"I am young, but I am not a child, Bane." _

_He stepped forward and grazed her cheek with his knuckles. "Of course you aren't."_

_"Don't do that." She sighed, tiredly, turning her gaze down._

_"What is the matter?" _

_She didn't feel the urge to cry, but she felt her insides dying as she knew she had to conclude her speech. _

_"I cannot think of you as I did when I _was_ a child, Bane. I am afraid my affections have multiplied and I am held in the palm of your hand like a toy." She stared in straight in the eye as she spoke. "I am twenty-one years old, I have never loved anyone the way that I imagine, based on what I am feeling, that I have loved you. Yet, I cannot ever be true with myself if I cannot tell you, my other half, how far I have found myself and how disastrous it seems. And what more could I ask for? You have given me everything. Do you realize how unfair it is for me to feel so selfish all of the time? How can I ask that of you? I can never ask you to end my agony! I should be perfectly happy."_

_She stood up and walked to his side, not looking him in the eye. _

_"The worst part is I cannot ever kiss you, Bane." She swore that the silence being cut was the worst sound she had ever experienced. "No matter how many times I have wished, I simply cannot properly prove my affections like a _normal_ lady and the reality of it is depressing beyond belief."_

* * *

"Did you mean it?" He mused, his eyes were curious. "Everything you said."

She sighed and stopped folding her shirts to turn around and look at him. "Bane, that was months ago. I already cleared the air, what more do you want?" She didn't want to talk about that.

"When you said those things to me, can you honestly say you allowed yourself to feel that?"

"I felt everything I said!" She sighed. "I was practically emulating it from my heart at the start."

Bane was unreadable as he shifted his position.

"But, like I said, it was months ago, why would you-"

"You never asked me how I felt." He suddenly spoke, his hollow voice savored and rich with intensity. Talia looked up into his eyes and suddenly it wasn't the bullet hole in her shoulder that was searing with pain. Instead, it was the throbbing under her left side ribcage.

"I didn't need to, I already knew." She confirmed. Bane frowned.

"You couldn't possibly ever comprehend. " He growled. He strode over to her and pulled her startlingly close. "I cannot ever kiss you, Talia."

"Bane, what are you doing?"

She was confused. The closeness of his body to hers was intimate.

He looked into her blue eyes and she read his like a book. "I can never physically kiss you. But I don't need to be able to kiss you to define how I feel."

She felt his arms slip around her waist, his fingers twine in her hair. She kept her startled gaze on him as she brought her hands up to his chest, almost cautiously pushing herself away. She couldn't let herself hope.

"And what do you feel?" She asked.

He stared at her for a long time. Hoping to explain with his eyes instead of his words. She finally understood as she looked at him, watching her. She hadn't been so foolish after all feeling what she did. Because, her beloved protector didn't avoid her because he didn't feel the same, he stayed far enough away because he did.

"Do you feel my heartbeat?" He asked her. She nodded. "My heartbeat will always be in tune with yours, Talia. Those can be our embraces. You will always know that in the comfort of my heart, you will be warm. I will always keep you safe."

She smiled into his shirt. "Those can be our kisses." She lifted her head up to glance at his face. He nodded. She smiled weakly before she pushed her nose into the crease of his neck gently, inhaling his scent and feeling each comfort of their shared embraces with each touch to his pulse.

"First kiss-" She mumbled. "Not was I was expecting."

Bane chuckled under her. He kept her close to him as they continued to share their feelings in a mess of increased heartbeats. The pleasure of the matter beyond expectation.


End file.
